There are things more important in life than meetings

Definitions are not enough

The meeting had ground to a halt yet again on the subject of which compound would offer least electrical resistance. The deep-hued rings under the scientists’ eyes reflected the long hours they had spent in pursuit of the enigma of super-conductivity, which had been the focus of their research over the past few months.Professor Wilkins, a scientist greatly renowned for his ruthless investigative methods into the secrets of physical chemistry, said, “I’m sure if we were able to increase the amount of bismuth in the oxide compound we would get closer to the desired results. Just imagine what zero electrical resistance would bring us - super-fast chips, super-cheap electro-magnets… The possibilities are endless.” His face took on a far-away look as he thought about all the ways in which their research, if it succeeded, could transform so many areas of everyday life.“I personally am inclined toward the strontium. In any case, how far have we reached?” his colleague, Dr Smith, interrupted.The professor, pulled out of his reverie, smiled. “We have gotten within 23 degrees of absolute freezing and . . .”Suddenly, the door to the meeting room swung open as one of the lab assistants burst through, a cordless phone in hand. “Professor, there’s a call for you.”Professor Wilkins couldn’t hide his irritation. “Didn’t I tell you not to disturb us!”“It’s urgent, sir. It’s your wife.”Gruffly, the professor picked up the phone. “How many times have I told you not to call me here? What is it?”“Something terrible has happened,” his wife sobbed. “Our Johnny has been knocked down by a car in front of the house. I’ve laid him on the sofa and called an ambulance but I can’t feel his pulse.”He went pale. “I’ll be right there.” The phone slipped from his hand as he looked over at his team.“What’s the matter?” asked Dr Smith. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.  Professor? Professor?”The professor grasped the edge of the table and stumbled out of the room without even picking up his papers . . .

Interpreting the tale

While research into the laws of physics has led to a deeper understanding and harnessing of matter and energy, our lives and deeper hopes move at a different pace to our intellectual activity.From time to time we are jolted by events that defy our intellectual capacity. When the unpredictable occurs, we require something beyond mere definition. We need inner power.Meditation helps us to retain balance in the face of the unexpected. In one moment we can be totally focused on and efficient in our professional capacities and, in the next, able to stay calm and concerned as we deal with whatever personal difficulties arise. The more able we are to focus and concentrate, the more able we are to avoid useless speculation and maintain enough patience to await the facts.

This is a short story I wrote in an anthology called 'Tales for Better Living'

How to stay happy no matter what happens

Think of the last time you became upset about something trivial. You locked yourself out of your house and battered your fist vainly on the door. They announced that your plane would be delayed for three hours due to a mechanical failure and you missed an appointment. You changed to a shorter queue in the supermarket and the person at the cash register in front of you decided to pay his gas, electricity and water bills. The traffic was bad so you decided to take your favorite shortcut, only to find it much worse than the road you had been on. Our lives are populated by many such unforeseen events that come as challenges to sense of well being. We surrender our happiness to them for nothing. The only return for getting upset is a headache. If this becomes chronic we may possibly be candidates for a shorter life.
Once I was driving in Buenos Aires with a friend. When the traffic lights turned green, the car stalled and I took a few seconds to sort it out. Suddenly, I heard a taxi driver flying past on my right shouting the word 'mongólico' at me. He actually wasted his fury because, as I was still learning Spanish, I didn't understand the expression. My friend told me that he had just called me an imbecile. Later on, I made a quick calculation. If he was able to gain five seconds at every traffic light, at the end of the day, he would have earned around 10 minutes of 'extra' time. In my mind I created a caricature of a an anger-fed traffic-light terror shouting 'mongólico' to everyone who dared to impede his progress. Driving six days a week for 30 years and tearing off at every traffic light comes to about 2 months extra time! But how much shorter would his life be living in such a permanent state of anxiety?
Recently in a talk in Orlando I asked the audience if their lives were comfortable. On the highway from Tampa, I had seen an immense RV towing both a golf cart and a car - a perfect combination for the itinerant comfort-lover. The great majority said yes. Then I asked them if they were happy, no matter what happened. They said that they could remain more or less happy only until the next test came along like the ones above - a lost key, a delayed plane, a slow queue or a clogged up shortcut. These are only trivial tests. Imagine how we lose it when the tests are really important like our house burning down or a loved one diagnosed with malignant cancer. The fact is we need a bigger stock of understanding and spiritual power to get us through the chaos of each day.

The secrets that I have learned 

mainly through my connection to the teachings of the Brahma Kumaris, that have helped me over the years to deal with situations and remain happy:

1) Be a detached observer

This means to keep a broad view of whatever is going on. All events are part of an incredibly vast play, with scenes and scenery. Every single person has a role to play. I just have to concentrate on my role and play it to the best of my ability. Everyone is under the influence of their own past and present circumstances. People just really want to be happy and avoid sorrow if possible. They want to understand things and be understood. They want to love and to be loved. That's it. Let the show go on.

2) Happiness is in giving

The flow of happiness is one way, from the inside out. In a sense I cannot take happiness from others or things. I can only really give it. It's the sort of thing that in giving it actually increases. Therefore, I have to learn to activate it and find something or someone to direct it towards.

3) The other half of me is myself

The endless search for fulfilment through material objects and relationships comes to an end when we realise that we will never find ourselves in other people or in physical things. Someone else, no matter how great they are, or how poetic I am, can't jump into my soul and transform my feelings. Things and people can inspire me but what and how I feel, depends on me. Matter of course is something that satisfies the physical senses, but it cannot fit in the soul. The very search for fulfillment starts with an inner voice crying to be found. The famous other half of the orange is me!

4) I am responsible

I am responsible for my spiritual and emotional state. There are present and past influences of course, but I cannot say, "I am like this because of someone els or because I was ill-treated 20 years ago." Life is full of situations and tests, but unless I assume responsibility for my state of mind and spirit, I will always be at the mercy of them.

5) Sense stimulation is not happiness

The world provides an endless supply of sense stimulation. Tossed between movies, mp3s, video games and deliberating enticing advertisements, I can unthinkingly relinquish the simple things that surround me and be thrust into a world that is someone else's creation. I forget to be the author of my own.
No matter how beautiful the scene, how melodious the music or how tasty  the food, my sense organs are not the deeper me nor do they feed the deepest of all desires - to understand life and my real role in it.

6) Don't create and sustain unreal expectations

Just as I have my limitations, everyone else also has. It is unreal to expect someone to be constantly loveful, respectful and honest with me, when I am often not able to do this for myself. I cannot use someone else's respect to compensate for my own lack of self-respect. If I feel someone has betrayed me it's because I betrayed myself first. It's like betting on a horse-race. My horse didn't win. I just tear up the ticket and carry on.

7) Happiness has the same size as my potential for good

All of us has a vocation for serving others. If I can the world of needs and the needy beyond my own ego, I can begin the work of liberating what is potentially good in me from the prison of my ignorance. Being truly generous and gracious with others, no matter how they behave, is the beginning of being able to help them. Helping others to be happier than they have been able to, is the greatest charity. My potential for serving others and my possible happiness, have the same size.

8) Learn to be present

Happiness can only be experienced in the present. I can remember that I was happy yesterday, but I can't re-experience it now. If I am always looking backwards trying to extract happiness from the past or looking forward th the happiness that I may have this evening, or on the weekend, or when I am on vacation, the present opportunities slip away. If I go for a walk, let me appreciate the sky, the trees and the day. If I  am with other people, let me appreciate them as they are. Let me savor the food, enjoy the music, feel the breeze without depending on them. I will many new reasons to be happy in the simple things.

9) Meditate daily to increase the stock of understanding and spiritual power

Unhappiness is all about a lack of spiritual power. If I spend more money than I earn over a long period of time, I can become bankrupt. If I go on spending more spiritual power than I can replenish daily, then I become spiritually bankrupt. The trick therefore is to build up stock through the daily practice of meditation. If I can meditate well for 20-30 minutes first thing in the morning, for 2-3 minutes now and then during the day and another 20-30 minutes in the evening, my stock of spiritual power should be enough to get me through most situations. This power tends to accumulate as I learn to think better. When major hurdles appear there should be enough to pass over them also.
See the post on meditation practice on this same blog (Think less, think better - Learn to meditate).

The poetry of transformation (1)

I walked alone, marooned by thoughts, problems of straw clinging to me.

Hands clenched, the greater destination impeded.

I throw myself into the fire of love and see that only the straws are

consumed.

The shell of stains melts and reveals the untouched self.

What is the sacrifice, if only the useless burns?

And its flames illuminate a straight path to wholeness.

What loss is there?

If my fortune ignites again

And its light breaks the power of ancient shadows enshrined on the altar of a blind mind.

In the mirror of knowledge, only truth is reflected worthily

Only the one who is free of burden has the lightness to see himself.

From my book in Portuguese: Reflexões para uma vida plena 

Think less, think better (3) - Understand the essence of things

There was a phase in my life that I worked as a perfumist. I learned that, just as flowers have a tiny percentage of essential oil, situations also have a small part of importance and a great amount of unnecessary details.

In the old days, in the south of France where lavender is cultivated, the local people would set up a distilling unit alongside the field of flowers and they make a simple distillation there itself. (These days the process is mechanized). The proportion of essential oil in lavender is about 0.05%, that is, 5 kilos of oil can be extracted from each ton of petals. Whoever has seen a ton of petals knows that would fill up a huge hall. It would be absurd for them to take cartloads of petals back to the town to extract the oil there. Since it is a quite stable substance, it was distilled in the field and refined later. The chaff was then used to fertilize future plantations. In the same way, instead of carrying forward the bulky chaff of insignificant details from the diverse situations that I pass through in life, I should learn to identify and retain the 0.05% of their meaningful essence. It's much lighter and easier to use!

Many times, that which is really important escapes me because I insist on carrying in mind the trivialities of the non-important. If I just check the last ten times that I became annoyed I will see that the agente provocateur was some trifling detail. Rage always tends to exaggerate.

There are three main effects in the person that has head full of chaff:

·      mental and intellectual overload

·      personal fragmentation

·      inner sense of weakness or lethargy

I should deeply understand these three thieves that strip me of my quality as a human being.

Continuing on with this perfumery analogy there is a situation of jasmine. The jasmine flower is very delicate and its esters are quite volatile. Its essence cannot be distilled at the side of the fields. Hand picked jasmine flowers are placed in special solvents which allow the so-called jasmine absolute to precipitate out. The solvents are then evaporated off. A more costly method called enfleurage is used in France. the petals are placed in a frame frame smeared with fat to absorb the odor of fresh jasmine flowers. The fat is then processed to obtain the jasmine absolute. In either case the price of a kilo of jasmine absolute, depending on the quality, can be up to US$5000. The characteristic aroma of jasmine is due to an ester called benzyl acetate, which makes up 65% of the oil. Benzyl acetate costs only a 2-3 dollars a kilo. Have a guess which one they use for cheap perfumes and incense!

In the same way, many situations look true but in fact they aren't. The pure essence has been substituted by something false. That's why we really need to work on our power of discernment so that after the situations have come and gone, I remain only with that which is true and neither chaff or falsehood weighs me down.

Think less, think better (2) - Sleep and think better = less tiredness

A survey conducted by the respected polling institute IBOPE, released on the 12/11/2013, revealed that 98% of Brazilians feel somewhat or very tired, mentally and physically. They interviewed 1,499 people, including men and women, from 18-65 years, living in Brazilian cities. For 70% of the respondents, the fast pace of everyday life and stress are the main reasons for this. I must admit that I have observed this same phenomena in many other countries.

Almost forty years ago, I learned something that brought a fundamental shift in my life. I realised that quality sleep is much more important than quantity. I trained myself to sleep 5 or 6 hours instead of 8, while actually feeling better. Since that time I have gained more than 3 years that I would otherwise have spent sleeping. I have used that extra time to do many constructive things such as writing this blog! I further understood that the quality of thoughts was the main source of tiredness,  that if I could think less and better, I would actually have more energy.

For example, I can work solidly for 12 hours joyfully putting the finishing touches to some creative physical work and not become as worn out as when I'm worried or moping around. I have definitely experienced that through the practice of meditation, I can diminish and even eliminate the wasteful thinking that induces fatigue.

As part of my own personal discipline, I started to get up very early to meditate and take benefit from what is called 'amrit vela' - the 'hours of nectar' in India. This is from 4am to 6am. At that time there is maximum silence in most places in the world. Before getting involved in the world of action, I set my inner state and affirm my intrinsic value. The following is the sort of determination I create in myself: "Whatever happens during the myriad events of the day, I will retain my equanimity. No one and nothing will take away what I am. I am basically a being of peace, love and contentment. People will be as they are.  I cannot change them. Situations will come as they come. I will not try to control them. Rather I will control my inner state and through that, influence them positively. Obstacles are opportunities to learn". By consciously practising this I discovered that I could pass through the scenes and scenery, observing when i had to and participating when I had to. I could separate the essential from the useless and thereby reduce the quantity of thoughts. The thing is not to develop methods of rest, but to learn how not to get so tired.

(Next blog: Think less, think better (Part 3))

No one and nothing can take away our real value

Over the years, I must have talked to hundreds of people who wanted guidance to help them face some personal problem. In one way or another, we always ended up talking about self-respect. Especially in those cases where the person was feeling disheartened or incapable in the face of an obstacle, there always seemed an inability to recognize and sustain the sense of self-value.

Soon after launching the book, 'Human Values in the Workplace' I was invited to give a talk about it in the Brazilian Central Bank. As it was going to be televised to its units throughout the country, I went there the day before to make sure everything was fine. As I walked into the building in Brasilia, some attractive posters caught my attention. They had launched a campaign for people to treat banknotes with greater care. They informed me that they could save up to 15 million dollars a year if people didn't mishandle printed money. This gave me an idea about what I could do in my talk. That night I made a color photocopy of a 100 real note (about US$50).

The next day, after 20 minutes into the talk I pulled the note out of my pocket and said that I was feeling generous and would give it to anyone who raised their hand. About eight people put up their hands. Very ceremoniously I screwed it up and asked them if they still wanted it. They said of course they would. One of the organizers gave me a frantic look as if to say - What are you doing? What about the campaign? I indicated to her not to worry.

I then threw it onto the floor and stomped on it. Asked if they still wanted it, the people replied they did. Finally I picked it up and tore it in half. In the astonished silence, I offered both pieces to the first taker. As a staffer he joked, “I guess I could change it at the Central Bank”. There was a even greater amazement (and relief) when I announced that it was a fake note. With a glanced I calmed down the anxious organizer. I explained that I would never do such a thing with with a real note. I did it to show the foundation of self-respect and thereby, values-based behavior. In a way, we are like a note of real money. It doesn’t matter what the world does to us. It can screw us up. It can stomp on us. It can even tear us in half. Even so, our intrinsic value does not change.

Self-respect is about knowing and holding on to our own value. There are aspects of our foundational consciousness that do not change with the circumstances. It’s like a spiritual DNA. Even though we fluctuate with the changing scenes around us, certain deep qualities such as love, peace, happiness and truth are our internal ballast. They are part of us. No one and nothing can take them away. We lose them basically because we forget who we really are. When that happens, we also forget what is truly ours.

Think less, think better (1) - Learn to meditate

As we grow up we learn to speak, to count, to read and to write. A lot of trial and error and most of us get along reasonably. But no one ever taught us how to think - how to create the right type of thoughts and avoid useless, unproductive and even negative ones. Thinking just seems to happen as an endless stream. Whatever appears in the mind takes us with it, produces feelings and moods and may even distance us from reality.

Recently I was giving a talk to the executives of a regional airport authority in Brazil, all a little stressed out due to getting the airports ready for the 2014 World Cup. I asked the participants how would it be if they ran their airports in the same way they ran their minds. Everyone laughed, but it was a serious question. During the rush hours, the main domestic airport in Sao Paulo can reach a peak of a plane landing or taking off every two minutes. The mind is like an airport. Thoughts, feelings, memories, sensations and inspirations land and take off with an even faster speed. 

I made a quick calculation. If there are 1,440 minutes in a day, and to make it easy, we spend 440 those sleeping, that leaves 1,000 of wakefulness. If there is some mental activity even every two seconds this adds up to 30,000 'flights' a day. These fragments of consciousness swirl around in an often meaningless way, hampering our clarity and concentration. Bits and pieces of our thinking reduce our determination and productivity. In the same way that an airport has to have an air traffic controller to sequence the flights and avoid accidents, we need to learn how to think in a more ordered way. Raja Yoga meditation is a great way to do exactly this.

Using thoughts and not denying them or trying to go beyond them, we can literally train ourselves to think less, think better and achieve more. It's a step-by-step process:

1) Create an aim for your meditation. Think what you want to experience, for example, peace, love or spiritual power. Write down a few ideas connected with the experience that you want to have. These ideas will become the 'field of contemplation' in your meditation.

2) Become a detached observer. Look at the stream of thoughts like a passenger in a train looking at the scenes passing by the window. Don't try to fight the thoughts. Just look at them and remember that you are their creator. No one else has come into your head and is creating your thoughts. You are. If you try to stop thinking something it will get stronger. So, just let it come and go. Put your attention on the seat of consciousness, where you are actually thinking. Visualize a subtle seat behind the eyes, in the middle of the forehead and sit your thinking there.

3) Remember your aim. Let's say you had decided to experience your own spiritual power. Look at the ideas that you had written down. What is spiritual power connected with? Can my thoughts reach the Source of spiritual power? What does it feel like to recharge the inner batteries? If you were more powerful internally, how would you look like with relation to your work, relationships and the tasks that you have to do? In this way you create a 'field of contemplation' in which you begin to slow down your thinking and become more focused.

4) Gradually one of the ideas seems to become more important. If you had to become the essence of the aim of spiritual power, which of the thoughts that you are thinking is most connected with that? Focus on that one thought.

5) See yourself as a tiny point of conscious energy and gradually become the embodiment of the experience that this focused thought implies. As you go deeper into the experience you actually stop thinking. You are no longer intellectualising about what's happening. Stay there for some time, and gradually come back to the wariness of your surroundings.

If you can do this type of mental exercise on a regular basis you will definitely learn to think less, think better and achieve more with less effort.