How to overcome temptations?

We all get them. An attractive proposal that I can't possibly take up. A bar of Belgian chocolate that my aunt just gave me, even though the doctor prohibited chocolate only last week. An alarm clock trying to wake me up at 5 a.m. after I got to bed at 2. Dilemmas and temptations surround our lives. Should I give, take, do, avoid the thing that is dangling in front of me.

Let's take the example of getting up early after sleeping only a few hours. It's a working day and takes more than an hour commute to get to work. To complicate the matter, it's cold and rainy outside. The temptation to stay in my warm bed activates the inner dialogue between knowing and wanting. 

Wanting: 'Arrrgh. I'll put the alarm on snooze. I need more sleep.' 

Knowing: 'Get up. I have to go to work.' 

Wanting: 'But it's really cold out. So cosy and comfortable in bed.'

Knowing: 'Come on, get up lazybones. I can't be late again. They're laying people off at work. Don't run the risk.' 

Wanting: 'Just another five minutes.' 

Knowing: 'No. The last time I took five minutes, I slept for another hour and missed the bus.'

Wanting: 'Ohhh. Okay.'

Such inner conflict can keep us restless and ready to get into conflict with others.
When I know what I really want and direct my wanting towards that I will be happier, simpler and easier with myself.

Temptations can become the enemy of self-discipline. When overcome, they can be the stepping stones to personal victory. 

Text from the Live and Meditate Channel (https://www.youtube.com/liveandmeditate and https://www.facebook.com/liveandmeditate/) Video #91

Leadership 101

Over the years I have seen many leadership styles. The almost extinct command and control, transactional leadership, transformational, inspirational, the leader as servant, example, facilitator, etc.

Personally, I have focused on self-leadership because I know that our real ability to lead others is commensurate with our ability to lead ourselves.
When I look inside and just see tremendous confusion or tension, this naturally affects my ability to deal with situations and people.
One question I always ask at leadership or organizational development seminars is this: Are people happier when you arrive or when you leave? It does not mean that you have to be an angel, but rather, you need to respect others. Even when you need to correct someone, you do it in such a way that it does not destroy their hearts. So they will appreciate your presence and not your absence.
Another good question is why someone would follow you anyway. If you go in some new direction, look back and there is no one following, you probably are not a leader. Only someone who has a post or position.
In fact, leadership is not difficult. Make a list of everything you enjoy in others' treatment of you. Practice this consciously. Make another list of everything you dislike in others' treatment of you. Avoid this consciously.
That's it. Leadership 101.

Text from the Live and Meditate Channel (https://www.youtube.com/liveandmeditate and https://www.facebook.com/liveandmeditate/) Video #12

Are our beliefs just theories?

Practically all of our popular beliefs are still only theories. We are descendants of monkeys, our ancestors were cave-dwellers. The universe started with a Big Bang or by some divine act. Such and such a founder of a religion is the only legitimate representative of the truth. We are all equal. Violence is natural to the human being. The list goes on and on. 

At a personal level, our beliefs about what can make us happy are mostly a bunch of premises based more on hope than on a real perception of our world and relationships.

Theories are not absolute truths

A good exercise would be to go through our convenient (yet basically unfounded theories) and rewrite them. 

"my husband/wife is…" 

"my religion/race/culture is better than yours" 

"I can't change. I'm too lazy" 

No beliefs or theories are fixed forever. If we could go to a deeper level of perception we would probably change them. 

We would be able to see how excuses are the main weapons of our shaky premises. How excuses actually block the truth. 

Enough spiritual resources?

A person without money thinks twice about taking a bus or go walking. Someone with a lot doesn't think twice about taking a taxi or not.

Similarly, when a situation arises that requires more understanding and tolerance than I have, I end up shortchanged. If I have a stock of spiritual power and an understanding of the rules of life, I can deal with it without problems.

Unhappiness is basically due to a lack of spiritual power.
If I spend more money than I earn over a long period of time I go bankrupt. If I spend more spiritual power than I replace daily, I become spiritually bankrupt.
The expression: gather hay while the sun shines refers to taking advantage of a favourable situation to prepare for when it is not.
What I have to do is accumulate a stock of spiritual power through daily meditation practice. If I meditate accurately for 15 to 20 minutes as my first act in the morning, then for 2 to 3 minutes from time to time during the day, and another 15 to 20 minutes at night, that stock should be sufficient to pass through most situations without tripping up.
This power tends to accumulate as I learn to think better. When larger obstacles appear, there is enough to get past them as well.
Actually, obstacles appear along the way, precisely to test my understanding and strength. Well understood, they always bring good lessons.

Text from the Live and Meditate Channel (https://www.youtube.com/liveandmeditate and https://www.facebook.com/liveandmeditate/) Video #11

The seat of command

One of the greatest benefits of meditation, even in its early stages, is to get a sense of mental stability. This is important because it helps to adjust things that are going on. Just think of a sloshing bucket. Nothing stays in it. In the same way, if my mind is jumping around like a moving bucket, I won't be able to understand nor engage in things in the way that I would like. Instead of reacting aggressively or stupidly to some event, I need at least one second, between what happens and my response. In that second I can go inside and sit on my internal seat and react adequately. Let's say the situation demands patience, but tI find myself acting decisively. Decisive action is good, but not at the moment that requires patience. If the situation demands decisive action, and I am being patient, this is also not good enough.

Being able to sit on this inner seat is very important for the practice of Raja Yoga Meditation.
Just as I am sitting on a physical seat, I am aware of a subtle seat, a few centimetres behind the middle of the forehead, between the two hemispheres of the brain. All the information from the senses and the different aspects of my life, come to this point to be processed. This is so I can understand and deal with them. This point is remembered by many traditions. The Hindus put a dot or tilak in the centre of the forehead to symbolise this. Christians make the sign of the cross here. Muslims touch their forward when they're greeting each other. When they pray they touch their foreheads on the ground. When we do something silly we slap or touch the middle of the forehead to signal our stupidity. It is not the body that has made the mistake. It is the thinking being.
So let's practice.

First of all, I sit in a comfortable posture, my back neither rigid nor slack. I look ahead, my face relaxed. I become aware of the 360° of things around me. I become aware that I am sitting in the centre of my life. There are people and things that are connected to me, so I enjoy this centred position for a short time.
Just as I am sitting on a physical seat, I visualise a subtle seat. A few centimetres behind the middle of the forehead behind the eyes. In between the ears. It's like the control panel of my life. It's here that all of the information comes from the senses. As I experience all the sensations that are coming in, I am aware of this control centre behind the eyes. I have a distinct sense of command. I am sitting calmly and stably at the centre of my life, at my control panel. I remain aware that I am a tiny point of concentrated conscious energy. I enjoy this sense of command for a few moments longer in silence and gradually come back to the physical surroundings.

Text from the Live and Meditate Channel (https://www.youtube.com/liveandmeditate and https://www.facebook.com/liveandmeditate/) Video #6

Centreing yourself

Knowing how to centre yourself is fundamental to meditation practice. To illustrate this, think of a spinning. Everything spins around a central hub which stays firmly in place. In the same way I can be in the centre of many things happening around, yet stable and calm in spite of what's going on. I have a better chance of seeing things as they really are. If I spin together with the spinning of things, I will have a fractured vision of everything.

Let's practice:
I sit comfortably with my back neither rigid nor slack.
Just comfortable.

I become aware of the things around. I use my sense organs to do this.

I keep my eyes half-open so I can see colours and forms. I can hear things around me. I can feel the temperature. I am aware of my own breathing.

There are 360° of things happening around me and I am sitting at the centre of it all.

Not just in the centre of of space with past is gone everything of the past is gone. The past has gone.

The future hasn't arrived yet. I really only have the present moment.

So I enjoy myself in the centre of the space where I am sitting.

I am also in the centre of time between the past and the present.
I really feel this and become very still, just observing.

I’m not only at the centre of these things I’m also at the centre of my life.

Though there are many things around me physically, many parts of my life are not present.

There are people and objects that I am connected with – relationships, roles, responsibilities, tasks.

There is a network of people and objects spreading out from me in the centre. As I become more stable and calm, I have an impact on this network of things and people. I stay in the centre of 360° of space around me and also in the centre of my life.
I remain a few more moments in this state and gradually come back to the normality of my surroundings.

Text from the Live and Meditate Channel (https://www.youtube.com/liveandmeditate and https://www.facebook.com/liveandmeditate/) Video #5

Preparing to meditate

 

Create your own space

This could be a room or a corner of a room that you declare as your meditation space so that people you live with will respect. You can decorate it as you feel fit. You can place some images or artefacts that remind you of your meditation practice.

When to meditate

The best time to meditate is anytime really. Even so, as soon as you wake up and before you get into your activities, set aside some time for meditation practice. The first thoughts of the day are the foundation of the day. Many people turn on the radio or check their mobile. The news these days is not so inspiring.
During the day you can also organise to pause from time to time. If you have one minute of meditation every hour, the other 59 minutes are fantastic.

Where to meditate

Besides in your personal meditation space, you can meditate walking, sitting, waiting in a queue. You can meditate in between things at work, in the middle of the rush going on around you. Just organise your thinking and you'll be okay anyplace.

What posture

The first thing to understand is that it is not the body that meditates. It is the thinking being that meditate. Even then, it's good to keep your back straight, neither rigid nor slack. Your hands on your knees or in your lap.

Your eyes

It is good to learn to meditate with the eyes open because our practical life happens with our eyes open. Meditation can then be a part of our normal day. So, you can keep your eyes half-open and unfocused, looking straight ahead, your face very relaxed.

So the first experience:

Sit comfortably with the back not too rigid or slack, your hands in your lap or on your knees, your face is relaxed. Your eyes slightly open, and follow these thoughts:
I am the inner being observing everything through the windows of my eyes. At this moment I am aware of the colours and forms, the sounds and sensations of 360° of things happening around me. I am very aware of each of my sense organs, my breathing. I am sitting here in the centre of things, feeling very, very relaxed, just observing. After some time enjoying the moment I gradually come back to my activities.

Text from the Live and Meditate Channel (https://www.youtube.com/liveandmeditate and https://www.facebook.com/liveandmeditate/) Video #4

Meditation is easy

Getting going with meditation is easy and challenging at the same time. If I knew when I started what I am going to share with you now over the next several posts, I probably would be much further ahead than I am.
It is easy to get started. But... really going into the depths of meditation practice to bring about the transformation of deeply ingrained life-hindering beliefs and habits requires much more understanding and dedication. But that is for later.
It the same with anything.
If I want to be a champion swimmer I have to dedicate more time and perhaps sacrifice to make that happen. It takes more than just splashing around the pool and getting a few laps in now and then. It's the same with meditation. There is enough benefit in the first five steps that I will share with you over the next few posts to create further interest.
I started my own conscious and daily practice in the year 1975, or 20 BI (before the internet) with very limited access to information about it. I decided to concentrate on the method of Raja Yoga Meditation that I was learning with the Brahma Kumaris Spiritual University. I could see that it went much deeper than the pleasant detachment and sense of peace, contentment and general compassion that I had experienced in other types of meditation.
Today, 43 years and thousands of hours of meditation later, I can definitely say that the first steps are easy and accessible to all. The practice of the deeper stages of meditation, however, requires quite a lot of self-discipline. That's OK too. Disciplinare in Latin means to teach, so self-discipline is what I need to teach myself.
Since the first steps are really easy, there is no excuse not to try it out.

Text from the Live and Meditate Channel (https://www.youtube.com/liveandmeditate and https://www.facebook.com/liveandmeditate/) Video #3